Category Archives: grocery

Food that looks like body parts

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I didn’t buy one because I don’t need to be eating donuts right now. I’m 4 lbs down and not looking back. But how cute, right? Not sure how much these babies go for but an egg and potato breakfast burrito is about half the calories and only $1.83. So, nothing saved except getting fat.

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It looks like a shoulder and an arm cut off at the elbow, what were YOU thinking??? Get your mind out of the gutter!

Grocery store toy departments are a little “different” in Texas

Don’t think you’d see this in California. Nope, sure don’t. Well, maybe in 1976.

Saved: the cost of replacing an child's eyeball (not sure what that's going for these days)

Saved: the cost of replacing an child’s eyeball (not sure what that’s going for these days)

Gawd this is cute.

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Saved: $13.99 but it’s not like I don’t have to eat, you know??

Austin’s Central Market is going to be a seductive temptress with all its cheeses and olive bars and THESE.

We are from France

Often, when you find things made in France, it’s pretty natural to want to say, “Of course it’s from France.” Most of those things are obvious, like Serge Gainsborough and mayonnaise. But I will admit that this seemed to me much more of an American product so I was pretty surprised to see that little French flag on the label but there it was. And there it is.

Savings: 11.99 (a guess, I forgot to look) x 2.  Because you can't just buy one.

Savings: 11.99 (a guess, I forgot to look) x 2. Because you can’t just buy one.

This was at Target, prounounced “Tar-zhay!”, especially if you’re there to buy cake and whipped cream flavored vodka from France. Which I wasn’t. Don’t get me wrong. I like me some cake, and some whipped cream… and oh hell yeah I like vodka. But I was there to buy box wine. To take camping. Not even joking at all about that.

Shout out to one of my favorite (fake) things that was “from France”, the Coneheads:

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GMOs?

I find it hard to believe there are no GMOs involved in these watermelons.

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Because… What the???

No. Seriously. What is that?

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Savings: $2.69 x what, like 30 lbs?

 

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Whole Paycheck

Yes, yes. It’s the oldest joke in the book about Whole Foods that it should be called “Whole Paycheck”. And I don’t shop there normally because I try to support my neighborhood stores – a mom and pop shop that is a “Whole Foods Light” (SHOUT OUT FARMER JOES!!!) and I even shop at the local Safeway (I know, gross) because it’s in my hood and they sell cheap ass cat litter. But last night I had a free evening because my Wednesday workout buddy couldn’t make it and I’ll be damned if I’m working out alone having forgotten my headphones. This is the night that Michael picks up Nico from daycare so I was a free woman after work. UNREAL!!!

We needed some groceries and I decided to do something daring, exciting, dangerous.

I lie.

But I did do something slightly different which is go to Whole Foods. I set a goal to just take my time and enjoy it, like an adventure. And I kinda did.

Of course, 4 small shopping bags and $179 later, I got the GIST of that old joke.

And, as aspirational as it is to think that I could manage this…

… I did not buy the pre-chopped (and perfectly uniform) onions.

What is aspirational about it is that I fantasize that I would use them all up before they went bad. Meaning, I had planned my meal plan for the week perfectly and made several delicious dishes that involved onions. (Who likes to chop onions?). Or, that I hadn’t planned SHIT but I was just one of those people who made everything just “work”. I am not one of those people.

Currently I have 4 onions from the organic farm that delivers every two weeks. I need to get on that. It’s one thing to let an onion from Safeway go bad. From Whole Foods, a little worse. But from an organic farm that’s a 3 hour drive from your house? You better be eatin’ some onions!

On an up-note I found cornichons which no stores in my ‘hood eve carry. Okay, I get why, they’re ridiculous little pickles but I love them. So, on the whole (see what I did there?), it was a successful experiment I think.

Oh, and I bought some $1.99 Three Wishes wine. I thought it was pretty good. Michael didn’t like it so much but I bet if I told him it was $40, he would have liked it more. He even agreed that might be true (since there was a study in the Economist or something that proved this theory… of course.) Give it a try.

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I don’t have a luvah…

So, I did not buy any.

Savings: whatever goat meat costs

But they did:

Why is cow meat called beef, pig meat called pork, chicken meat called poultry but goats don’t get a fancy name?

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