I get it. You’re large. And proud.

You’re proud.

You’re pregnant.

You want to remember this beautiful moment forever…

So you buy this.

Savings: Oh, probably like $19.99 or something.  I don't fucking know.

Savings: Oh, probably like $19.99 or something. I don’t fucking know.

My husband and I saw this on a trip to a baby store.

Our first trip to any baby store, ever.

It was mostly a ceremonial/celebrational trip where we had decided to go and buy just one thing each.

It was the day our son’s birth mother told us that she had chosen us as his adoptive parents.

And then I saw this thing.  The thing that, essentially, said, “OMG,  you are a goddess because you can make babies with your own body!

Part of me wanted to buy it and cast my relatively flat belly and joke about how well I’d managed to stay fit during his birth mother’s pregnancy. Or cast Michael’s belly too and make similar bad jokes. There are so many ways to look at this I can’t even try to start.

But here is a funny interlude: Metaphorical Adoption Maternity Portrait Series

Even if I had become pregnant, though, I can’t IMAGINE wanting to cast my belly but that’s just who I am… I’m not the person this product was intended for. And not to be judg-y, but I confess that I might think a little less of you if you are. Sorry, just being honest.

Also, where the heck do you keep something like this in your house? No, seriously, I want to know.


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